Category: self-authored

1000 nights camp

what i woke up to this morning at 1000 nights camp, sharqiyah sands. had breakfast at the camp. my favorite thing? mandazi, a form of fried bread that originated on the swahili coast. tastes like a sour cream doughnut.

dinner at the camp last night was also incredible. some of my favorite desserts:

omani halwa – like habshi halwa but smoother and more gelatinous. i bought some and got to taste many different kinds, made with figs, brown sugar, honey, milk, dhofari frankincense, tahini, dates, or cardamom. decided on halwa with walnuts.

um ali – pastry (bread or puff pastry) divided into pieces and blended with pistachios, coconut flakes, raisins and sugar. milk or cream poured over the mixture, which is then sprinkled with cinnamon and baked in the oven until the surface is golden brown. tastes like shahi tukray but much lighter and fluffier. simply heavenly.

mahalabiya – eastern milk pudding, slightly sweetened and flavored with rose or orange water. like firni but smoother and more milky. served in tiny narrow glasses.
more about food later.

wahiba sands in oman

some people like to take pictures like this at the beach. i prefer the desert in eastern oman. here we are experiencing a sunset, surrounded by martian landscapes, the wind erasing our footsteps as we walk around and take countless pictures, everything so vast and sovereign, humans small, and frail, and completely dependent on cosmic systems beyond their control… thinking of ‘desert notebooks: a road map for the end of time’ by ben ehrenreich:

“…time took a different shape. the desert enforces its own perspective. it shrinks you and puts eternity in the foreground. if you’re open to it, and don’t mind a diminished role in this drama, it insists, quietly, on the surging beauty of all things and non-things living and dead and not-formally-alive.”

in oman

we arrived in muscat yesterday and mostly just took it easy at our hotel. but today… we met our driver and guide, adil, at 830am and he drove us to bimmah sink hole first, in arabic hawiyyat najm or falling star. so much more poetic, no? legend has it that the sinkhole was created when an asteroid struck the arid plain that separates the ocean from the craggy peaks of the al hajar mountains. gorgeous. we then drove to fins white beach. again, the blue green water is sublime. next, wadi shab, a canyon which is home to crystal clear blue water pools. we started with a boat that took us across the river, walked past small farms and irrigation channels, and then… an hour long, arduous hike! we climbed over pristine white boulders and extremely slippery and narrow canyon walls. it’s the month of february, thank god, but still, middle eastern afternoons are hot. this was one of the most physically challenging things i’ve done in a while. but the views, and the pools at the end – nothing short of magical! we had lunch in wadi tiwi, drove around sur, learned how dhows are made, and more, before arriving at our eco lodge – sama ras al jinz. dinner and a walk, in the middle of nowhere. the sky is full of stars. and oman is so very special.

alserkal avenue in dubai

i found my groove in dubai today. it’s called alserkal avenue. located in al quoz, halfway between old and new dubai, this contemporary art hub was created in 2008 by housing art spaces, galleries, internet cafes, and artist studios in existing warehouses and factory buildings. incidentally, i started with an exhibition that purports to lift the voices of kashmiri women thru photography and testimonies. it was awful. from the get-go. more about that later.

i want to share what i loved first: ‘for you mother’ by palestinian artist rula halawani. based on conversations with her mother about palestine and her words, “even when we die and leave this world, our spirits remain, floating in the skies of our country,” halawani has produced these beautifully haunted and haunting, large-scale photomontages, a “marriage between archival images of palestinian families before the 1948 mass diaspora and palestinian landscapes captured thru her lens.”
halawani is also interested in examining how palestinian landscapes have changed — the people and natural environment that disappeared and are still disappearing.

old dubai

today started with a big breakfast at karak house (famous for its karak chai – serious masala chai, not for the faint hearted) and then a tour of old dubai (established as a fishing village in the early 18th century). took a boat ride across dubai creek in the al seef neighborhood and visited some of the souks with our guide, hamza, who happens to be algerian. only 8% of the population is considered local (with access to citizenship, free healthcare, free education and much else), the remaining 92% are foreigners who can never become citizens or enjoy the same benefits. yet they seem to be running this country…

decision to leave

on the flight from JFK to dubai, i saw ‘decision to leave.’ beautifully crafted by park chan-wook, it’s a slippery film, hard to pin down or categorize. it’s romance, mystery, crime, and detective story. it’s about obsessions, repetitions, imaginings, watching and being watched, recordings, replays, metaphors, poetry, death, murder, desire, and fantasy. it slides back and forth in time and space, even in language and translation (chinese and korean). an evasive, fatalistic, seductive film that takes its time (2 hours 18 min). makes me long for richer, more challenging and inventive filmmaking and storytelling than what we see celebrated in the US.

A grant for my project

I am beyond thrilled to share that I have been awarded a NYSCA (New York State Council on the Arts) grant for my project “Return to Sender: Women of Color in Colonial Postcards and the Politics of Representation.” This project will involve a short film, an art exhibition, artist talks, and a community discussion led by three women of color. The film premiere will be at Cinema Arts Centre in Huntington, NY, on Oct 1st this year.

There are so many amazing people to thank: first of all, Patty Eljaiek at Huntington Arts Council, Inc. without whose encouragement I wouldn’t have applied for this grant and whose consistent support was invaluable; Emily Dowd, Kieran Johnson and everyone at @huntingtonarts; Stephanie Gotard at @huntingtonhistoricalsociety who is my community partner (and my biggest cheerleader); Dylan Toombs who shot the footage for the film with dazzling artistry; Boris Sapozhnikov for additional cinematography; the beautiful and talented Fatimah Arshad, Urvashi Bhattacharya, and Sumayia Islam who are the stars of the film; Rajesh Barnabas and Darien Lamen who will be helping with postproduction; Nia Adams, Madeline Churney, and Farhana Islam for agreeing to lead a post-screening discussion; Jeremy Dennis for being open to a screening at Ma’s House & BIPOC Art Studio; and finally, Dylan Skolnik and René Bouchard for a film premiere and discussion at Cinema Arts Centre in spite of many complications.

Also trying to get a student intern from Stony Brook’s Women’s and Gender Studies dept to curate the art exhibition — thank you to the faculty there.

I will write more about the film, but for now I want to thank all my people — everyone who has worked with me, believed in me, and inspired me. Love you all!

This project is made possible with funds from the Statewide Community Regrant Program, a regrant program of the New York State Council on the Arts with the support of the Office of the Governor and the New York State Legislature and administered by The Huntington Arts Council, Inc.

some good news

this makes me sooooo happy. as i’ve said before, give me michelle yeoh all day and every day. to more films that center the stories of and performances by people of color, immigrants, refugees, minorities, marginalized communities, and women, especially older women. it will make for much better art, as is proven over and over again. we want our culture to reflect our realities. the days of the ubiquitous straight white dude are over.

my review: triangle of sadness

saw ‘triangle of sadness’ by ruben ostlund, then went back and watched ‘the square’ again. will rewatch ‘force majeure’ as well. what a brilliant, hilarious, provocative filmmaker. have been thinking about his work and how to encapsulate it. he likes to invert or complicate what is ‘normal.’ he strips away western society’s veneer of civilization, exposes its violent vulgar core, and pokes holes in what is considered the social contract.

he does this stylistically as well, by inserting sounds and visual disturbances in his scenes (an elevator door that keeps closing in the middle of an intense convo, baby cries during a marketing pitch, chairs crashing to the ground while a couple confront each other after an awkward one-night stand, etc).

he reaches for some of the mightiest, most glittery symbols of high culture (modern art, fashion, even winter sports), roots them out from their aesthetic safe place, and reveals the social rot, money, privilege, and absurdity they engender.

his films are always set in exclusive, elitist contexts – a bougie ski resort, a contemporary art museum, a luxury yacht – where the rich and beautiful prance and prevaricate about their wealth. a russian capitalist who quotes ronald reagan, a cute old couple who’ve made their fortune as arms dealers, a museum curator who is proudly liberal but couldn’t cut it without the privileges he wields, art collectors and aristos who remain paralyzed in the face of an assault on one of their own, how power hierarchies can be flipped like a switch, how the elite are completely bereft of survival skills, ideas of masculinity, the marginalization of people of color, horrors of the service industry, capitalism and homelessness, capitalism and art, beauty as trade and industry, the list goes on.

there’s always so much to unpack.

goodbye dear robert

as we start the new year, i can’t help but reflect on the linearity of time (a western concept imposed on many of us). i hope to continue to struggle against that programming. in urdu, for example, kal means both yesterday and tomorrow. it’s the same word. there are no borders between the past, present and future.

we lost a dear friend and comrade yesterday, on new year’s eve. my friend Robert Navan. i went to ireland three times, in 2013, 2016 and 2018. each time i met robert. he always gave me a little tour, took me out for coffee and pastries, for cuban food and beer in the most authentic pubs (even though i stuck with lemonade) and had plenty of recommendations about what to do in dublin.

most importantly, robert supported my work via the progressive film club. they screened ‘pakistan one on one’ and organized a brilliant screening/community event for ‘a thin wall’ (one of the best post-screening discussions i’ve ever had). they also put together a retrospective of my work and showed all three documentaries, including ‘the muslims i know.’

how lucky, how amazing to have audiences engage with my work, on the other side of the pond, in a country that’s special to me. i have always been proud to say i have wonderful friends in ireland, all of them opposed to war and imperialism, all of them fervent supporters of justice in palestine. robert was/is one of them. an old school socialist who had been to cuba many times. he told the best stories. they will continue to be with me. how i will miss him. rest in power my friend <3

with robert navan, dublin, 2013

morocco in the semi finals

yes, there are serious problems with fifa, with professional sports in general, with the horrors that come from hosting large scale international events, and with oppressive war-making regimes. btw most countries of the world fall within those parameters.

however, whatever happens on wed, when morocco goes against france in the semi finals, this much is clear:

1. solidarity from the global south: whether african, amazigh, arab, maghrebi, middle eastern, south asian, muslim, brown or black, people from the colonized south have rallied and celebrated morocco’s history-making games en masse

2. we are the majority: from 1492 to 1914, most of the world was colonized by tiny european nations with limited resources and infinite animus toward each other. therefore, 80% of humans are still coming to grips with colonization and genocide

3. colonialism never ended (it simply transformed and metastasized): we are still controlled by and embedded in racist, capitalist systems so the fight is not over. this is why when the western military-industrial complex goes into overdrive and never-ending wars are activated (like the war on terror or the war on drugs), they whisk together disparate regions and peoples with no regard for history, culture, or political realities – afghanistan, iraq, pakistan, libya, syria, somalia, sudan, yemen, the philippines, cambodia, vietnam, laos, colombia, cuba, guatemala, haiti, honduras, mexico, nicaragua, panama, and puerto rico can all become a monolithic ‘other’

4. consistent support for palestine: palestine has become a symbol of colonial subjugation and a rallying cry for resistance to global systems of oppression. it’s obvious that no amount of political or economic finagling can change that. people are not their governments or regimes, many of which are installed and protected by the colonizing west. the palestinian flag is a f—k you to censorship, political blackmail, and economic arm twisting

so whatever happens on wednesday friends, this is a historic moment. let’s remember it.

what a day yesterday!

morocco beats portugal and makes history. the global south celebrates en masse. it’s also my birthday. i get to hear from lovely people i’ve known across decades and continents – primary and middle school in brussels, high school in islamabad, college in karachi, university in connecticut, filmmaking / activism / beloved community in rochester, new friends on long island, like-minded compadres on facebook, and family all over the world. my husband and i spend the day in nyc. we meet our kids and have dinner at ‘let’s meat’ in koreatown. after enjoying an excellent meal, we walk to my son’s apt, eat cake, play with the fabulous loulou, and watch ‘top gun: maverick’ together. how fun is that? thank u everyone for all the warmth, love and sweet wishes – i couldn’t be more grateful <3