happy mother’s day to my beautiful mom! always stylish. she marches to her own beat. love u ammi <3

happy mother’s day to my beautiful mom! always stylish. she marches to her own beat. love u ammi <3

my world. moving in the middle of a pandemic and then existing in a state of suspension. this is my comfort zone #ronkonkoma #newyork

long island is beautiful-part II
stony brook village #longisland #suffolkcounty #northshore #newyork #stonybrook


long island is beautiful y’all!!! T. Bayles Minuse Mill Pond Park #longisland #suffolkcounty #northshore #newyork

went to #sunkenmeadowstatepark this morning. just 20 min from our place and such a wonderful beach and boardwalk! boardwalks are one of my favorite things in life, pretty much. but there were too many people there so we changed course and walked through the park. there was this broken fence in front of a fragrant bunch of wilderness and its heady scents of nascent spring took me back to my childhood in brussels, when we would wait for such a sunny day to go explore and stay outdoors for as long as we could. magic.



in #nyc to drop off our son at his apartment. sad empty streets everywhere but walking and biking are fire and spring is here. #chelseamarket #hudsonriverpark #newyork



u figure one of the good things about moving from #rochester to #longisland is that u will have more sunny days per year. and then this every other day 🙁

getting back into working out w Julie Zobel. first workout today after our move. we used a small space in my bedroom but wow, do i feel energized!
yesterday we were trying to thaw some chicken and i didn’t change the setting to ‘defrost’ on the microwave, so it got pretty cooked. my husband wanted to throw it. as usual, i wanted to salvage it. i added some yogurt, salt and pepper and tried to cook in a bit of oil but the chicken fell apart. what could i do with a bunch of shredded chicken? i added some grapes, an apple, toasted walnuts, mayo and honey mustard, scooped it on top of brioche bread and voila, delicious chicken waldorf sandwiches #quarantinelife

the apartment is coming along, slowly but surely. gone are most of the cardboard boxes, folded flat and placed in storage. the kitchen is fully functional. artwork just went up on our family room walls. next project: bedrooms:)


first walk together since moving. lake ronkonkoma just 5 min away from our apartment. it’s reassuring.

so i had hired a local business to move us from rochester to long island on april 8th. then cv-19 hit and our movers backed out of driving to nyc, right in the eye of the pandemic. the owner is a small businessman, with young children. he said he didn’t want to take chances. i understood. so the movers came by and loaded our trucks yesterday. yes, we ended up renting two trucks instead of one – my bounteous artwork, packed in some 20-30 large boxes, is partly to blame:) this morning we traveled as a caravan – my husband driving a 26 foot truck, my son managing a 20 foot truck, my daughter in our sedan, and yours truly forging ahead in an suv. all i can say is, it’s good to have grown-up kids:)
navigation was easy all the way – empty highways, not more than 2-3 cars in service areas, a few people scurrying around wearing masks, no toll tickets, no delays on approaching nyc. the george washington bridge seemed haunted. just two cars in front of me. in my 27 years of living around and traveling frequently to nyc, i’ve never seen anything like it. it felt disturbingly quiet, unnatural, somber. throughout the trip signs on highways urging people to stay at home, limit travel, stop the spread, #flattenthecurve.
my brother called to find out how we were doing. the car picked up his phone call. he told me his ex-neighbor in NJ, the guy they lived next to for a whole decade and who saw his kids grow up, just died of corona. he had an allergic reaction to something, went to the ER, got infected, died within a few days. in his early 50s. i am not one to panic but this piece of news shook me.
so between these misgivings (could we have delayed the closing on our house?), the thrill of living next to a city i love, the waves of emotion as i realized i was gradually moving away from the people i love, the profusion of texts, emails, and phone calls from family and friends all holding me warmly in their prayers and good wishes, the bone-tiredness from packing up a commodious house filled with 17 years of life and film and art-making, and finally the news that bernie sanders had just ended his presidential run, i couldn’t quite focus on any one feeling.
yet there is a connection – a complete sense of disconnection. being uprooted with milestones and memories packed precariously in cardboard boxes, the fear of losing people we love, the undignified randomness of loss, the arbitrariness of what we mark as ours in time and space, the irrationality of viruses and politics, the fragility of life and human-made systems, the strength of love and relationships that bind us to a center – some multifaceted, metaphysical core that saves us from disintegrating into meaningless fragments.
we are home, in this new home. it’s a gorgeous apartment. small but perhaps that’s all we need for our small family. everyone is asleep. goodnight fam and pls stay safe.







my mamoon, attique ahmed qureshi, 1959

pakistan air force in the 1960s: first person on the left is my khaloo (my uncle), followed by my mamoon (my mom’s brother), a lady i don’t know, and then my khala (my mom’s sister). don’t know the person on the right. it was a different era.