my little brother, back in the day in brussels. it’s his birthday today. can’t think of life without him. a good person, with a good heart. but also wickedly funny and perpetually interesting. happy birthday little brother! love u <3
yesterday at the morgan library & museum with my lovelies, persian food for lunch at ravagh on madison ave, visits to vintage clothing stores (mostly for my sister and daughter), some matcha at cha cha, and then dinner and jazz at the birdland jazz club featuring arturo o’farrill and the afro latin jazz ensemble ? live jazz makes me happy! more about what we saw at the morgan library soon.
weekend in soho with my sister and daughter. doesn’t get any better than that <3
With the brilliant (and lovely) Max Ajl whose work is critically engaging and analysis always measured. Read his new book, A People’s Green New Deal, and learn more about his important work. Thx for coming to Manhattan Max!
totally unexpected, beautiful love all the way from rochester! thank u dear iman and so many hugs for u and ur lovely mama Ahlam <3
breakfast with lovely friends before heading back to long island – until next time rochester <3
beautiful wedding reception at casa larga vineyards with these beautiful friends <3
the last few days have been heavy – confronting life’s fragile, ephemeral nature can be unsettling. but rochester makes my heart sing. too many people i love here <3
my mother’s sister, my khala rehana sarfraz malik, passed away yesterday. my mom and her four sisters were all beautiful women everyone said, each in their own way, but i always thought khala bibi was particularly charming. elegant, meticulously coiffed and dressed, with a captivating voice that reminded me so much of my own mother. many years ago, when my son was still a toddler, khala bibi spent two weeks with us in west hartford, connecticut, and we had a lovely time together. we went shopping, ate out, and talked all day. she made delicious haleem and got us mango and kulfa ice cream from the local desi store. i took her to mark twain’s house and once, when i was busy with a job interview, aitezaz took her and two of my friends from IBA who were also visiting us to gillette castle state park for a barbecue. what i remember most fondly are the late night chats we would have after everyone went to sleep. i asked her about her life, about being a young woman who lived on her own for a while (back when it wasn’t the norm), about marrying my khaloo, an older man and a widower – the love of her life. she had three step-children when she got married and then two sons of her own. she flourished. my uncle worked for the united nations and was posted to turkey for many years (in ankara, i believe) and khala bibi grew to love that life. she learned turkish and would speak to local officials in their own language. she became an outstanding hostess and a true partner in her husband’s consular work. it was a charmed life, but it didn’t last long. my uncle died unexpectedly in his sleep at a relatively young age, and my khala lived the rest of her life on her own. she was amply provided for and safe, she had her kids and later her grandkids, but she missed her gregarious, big-hearted husband and the lively, cosmopolitan life they had lived together. she was a devoted wife, mother and grandma, a strong woman who had to be stronger on account of what life threw at her, an engaging presence who could pull people into her orbit with ease. may she rest in peace, as she’s finally reunited with her beloved husband. inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un.
[khala bibi with some of her siblings. she is the young woman standing on the left]
so much fun hanging out with my brother and his wonderful fam today! being close to my brother and our kids is one of the blessings of living on long island <3
picnic at hudson river park with our kids for father’s day. hot and sunny but lots of trees and shade and the company of our bachas (including little loulou)
on friday, i caught up with the lovely Fatima Naaz Mustafa in nyc at lucy’s cantina royale (good guac and wraps but v noisy). it was brilliant to hear an accomplished therapist talk about generational trauma, racism and mental health, and the importance of breathing, and feel validated for focusing on these convos in my new film, ‘the injured body.’ thank u naaz for making time in ur whirlwind schedule and connecting. hope the rest of ur trip will be relaxing and peaceful <3
with the beautiful nia adams today talking about racial justice, palestine solidarity and the importance of defunding the police on long island.
lakeronkonkoma #longisland #newyork #defundthepolice #defundisrael #racialjustice #freepalestine
i’d like to share a new story from the warp & weft today – a story that means a lot to me personally.
on feb 1st this year, my favorite teacher left this world unexpectedly. i was heartbroken. the force of my reaction surprised me. there is so much more to us than meets the eye, even our own internal eye.
there are 30 trillion cells in the human body. there are multiplicities, temporalities, and mysteries buried inside of us. there is memory in each cell. we might not remember what someone means to us, until the body reminds us, by reviving thoughts and emotions – the messy, gelatinous stuff we’re made of.
here is a beautiful tribute to our monsieur maurer written by his best friend of 65 years, the wonderful belgian writer Paul Couturiau. pls listen to/read this story of deep friendship.
with my sister and brother on sunday. couldn’t barbecue outdoors so we grilled burgers in our oven. first big get together since covid. taboo, heads up, dumb charades, and lots of laughter. photo by my sister in law.
