Author: mara.ahmed

my review: blonde

i have not watched (neither do i plan to watch) ‘blonde,’ a fictional biographical film written and directed by andrew dominik and loosely based on a novel about marilyn monroe’s life, as imagined by joyce carol oates – yes, the number of ‘removes’ from the actual woman at the center of this ceaseless capitalist production is astonishing.

the reviews, especially by women, stating how the film ends up being soft porn with expensively produced cinematography would have kept me away, but the film is so much more problematic. it turns marilyn into a victim (something she resisted throughout her life), it is crassly graphic in how it shows affairs, abortions, and miscellaneous sexual assaults that never happened, not only does it objectify and diminish marilyn monroe (all over again) but it also exploits ana de armas, the young actress playing her (the director seems to have a fetish for some of her body parts).

many of these borderline art/adult films are written, directed and produced by men. remember ‘blue is the warmest color,’ a french film by abdellatif kechiche? it became famous for its graphic lesbian sex, but it was pretty obvious that the sex scenes were written and choreographed by a man. later on there were accusations of sexual assault, bullying and aggressive behavior on set. it seemed to fit.

as a woman i find it unbearable that our usefulness/import is still so intimately tied to our bodies. whether to cover us or disrobe us, whether to allow us to use contraception or not, give birth to a child or not. some of us are forcibly sterilized while others are not allowed to end unwanted pregnancies. some of us can be killed for not covering our hair while others are utilized to fulfill gross male fantasies and compromise our body sovereignty.

it has always enraged me that 99.9% of victims portrayed in western detective novels and crime thrillers are women and the methods used to torture, kill and mutilate them ever so creatively are invented by men. it normalizes violence against women. even as we cringe, there is something lurid about it that teases, tempts, raises the stakes. we are told the movie is make-belief, controlled, safe. but real life is not, and this is where we continue to struggle.

as fascism takes over the world, one election or coup as a time (look at italy’s giorgia meloni), all i know is that it will get tougher for all of us out here who are not straight, white, able-bodied, european men. this is the time to understand true intersectional feminism and fight together as equals.

thoughts on the berlin wall

a few more posts about berlin.

checkpoint charlie (or checkpoint C) was “the best-known berlin wall crossing point between east and west berlin during the cold war (1947–1991).” it’s famous for its death strip, bordered by mines and channels of ploughed earth to stop people from escaping to the west. now it’s a tourist trap. our guide suggested we skip the fake museum and enormous gift shop and just look at remnants of the wall. i found some old b&w pictures of the area, the way it used to be before the wall came down. it’s the human suffering that sticks in one’s mind, families separated forcibly as they have been (and still are) by colonial borders across the world. there was a sign (in many different languages) saying: “in this very place just 30 years ago u might have been shot at…” and “can u imagine what life must have been like with a wall on ur doorstep…”

all i could think was: this is not history. these crimes against humanity are ongoing. what u are asking us to imagine is every day life for the people of palestine. my only hope is that one day soon, their apartheid wall will also become a tourist trap where people will congregate, reflect, and say to one another: “can u imagine what life must have been like to live with a racist, separation wall on ur doorstep and checkpoints every few steps that encroach on ur human right to move freely?” this is my hope.

lila restaurant in berlin

the day i got to berlin from praha, my train was delayed and so i checked in late. it was already getting dark. my host, lara, told me about this unique restaurant (a very special place) that was a 40 min walk. i was hungry, having had breakfast in prague and nothing else, but i decided to go for it. walked around kreuzberg and all the way to the water. found lila and ordered lara’s favorite – the truffle pasta. i was sitting at a high table right in front of the kitchen so i could see the pasta being prepared. it was delicious. full of flavor, buttery, sumptuous. as i was finishing it off, i wished that i could turn back time and eat it all over again. for dessert i had panna cotta. it came with a lovely sauce that tasted like caramel and coffee. there was a paper thin wafer on top of it (melted in one’s mouth instantly). under the wafer, a fruity surprise. crumble on the side for some nutty crunch. the panna cotta itself was like a cloud – smooth and just the right degree of lusciousness. it was the best meal i’d had on this entire trip. lila restaurant is special.

where i’m staying in kreuzberg

one more post about kreuzberg. i’m staying at this ethereal, organic, pure cotton kind of place in chamissoplatz (beautiful old buildings everywhere – one of the few neighborhoods in berlin that wasn’t bombed and destroyed). it’s owned by lara – a medical doctor and researcher. the bathroom floor is heated, the lights are touch-less, the mattress can be heated, and much more. the entire apt is furnished with real antiques and an abundance of indoor plants. the building is old and being worked on so the outside is a work in progress but the inside is lovely. i have a king size bed and a grand piano in my room.

schnitzel and kaiserschmarren

more kreuzberg. then linner (lunch + dinner) at austria, on bergmannstraße, where i had wiener schnitzel (veal) with a cucumber salad, a potato salad, and cranberry sauce. it was surprisingly delicious. for dessert i tried rum raisin kaiserschmarren, a lightly sweetened pancake named after the austrian emperor franz joseph I, who was v fond of it. it was served with apple purée, plum compote and vanilla ice cream. divine.

chilling in kreuzberg

having a chill time in kreuzberg today (it’s home to students, artists and a large turkish population). it’s also where i’m staying. walked to café marameo right around the corner this morning and was pleasantly surprised to see a small public market with flowers, fruit, coffee, galettes and more. had a slice of apple and heidelbeere (blueberry) cake which was excellent, a beignet filled with vanilla cream and hot chocolate. a cute doggy sitting in front of me was enjoying the scene just as i was. walked around and visited some vintage shops. found these wonderful earrings at dress code vintage. what do u think? my interactions with berliners have been lovely so far. i like it here 🙂

the mysteries of praha’s train station

praha’s main train station is called praha hlavni nadrazi or praha hl.n. for short. it’s multilevel and if u don’t speak the language it can be overwhelming. i had to take a train to berlin today so i did a lot of online research and figured these things out. if u are planning to travel to praha via train, here are some tips.

u don’t need to take a taxi or uber if u are staying close to the old town. u can walk to the station. the address is: wilsonova 8, 120 00 prague. use google maps.

enter the station (thru a small park) and walk straight thru the entrance. u will see a large departures/arrivals monitor. find ur train and look for the platform number. they said those are only announced 10 min prior to departure (which was freaking me out) but my platform number was visible more than an hour before departure.

now the thing is whether u will be on the L (north) or R (south) side of that platform. that info is announced 10 min prior, when there is a huge crowd of people rushing towards the platforms via three passageways. chaos. here is what u can do to avoid it.

behind the departures/arrivals monitor u will see escalator ramps. use them to go up. stay in the middle passageway leading to the platforms (it’s flanked by burger king and sephora).

walk to ur platform number (overhead). there will be electronic signs on each side – north and south – with the trains coming on that particular side listed as they come into the station. wait in the passageway. 10-15 min before ur departure time, ur train will be listed either on the L or R. go up to the platform on that side. board ur train. voila:)

p.s. there are electric outlets by the window seats. u can charge ur phone but don’t forget to bring an adaptor. there are also compactly pleated curtains on both sides of windows.

btw random pictures are of praha castle where i was yesterday. it was built in the 9th century.

i am not new to prague

i am not new to prague. we visited many years ago, when i was a child, my siblings were even younger, and my parents a good-looking, bold and enterprising pair. we stayed on/at a botel in praha – a boat-hotel. brussels was our home back then and we traveled throughout europe often. so this trip is a nostalgic return to a place that’s part of my childhood – a longing, a yearning that persists. old town prague is magnificent. too much to say. here are some pictures.

jan hus memorial, astronomical clock, tyn church, karlova street, st nicholas church, old town square, charles bridge (more on IG @mara__ahmed)

today’s food diary

hot chocolate with ducat buns (czech: dukátové buchti?ky) for breakfast this morning. tiny yeast dough buns, soft and airy, with vanilla cream and fresh berries. all at kampa cafe, down the street. splendid! while exploring praha’s old town (and taking 1 1/2 million pictures), i tried some chimney cake (trdelník – made from rolled dough, wrapped around a stick, grilled and then topped with sugar and walnuts or pistachios. mine was filled with excellent ice cream and topped with toasted pistachios. so good. for lunch, i went with something lighter. mixed greens with beets, poached pear, candied walnuts, and caramelized goat cheese. the lemonade was flavored with elderflower syrup and peppercorns (one thing i know: we’ve got to up our lemonade game in the US) at czech slovak foodery on ujezd.

dessert came later: in the evening i listened to chamber music performed by a wonderful string quartet, soprano and organist at the klementinum mirror chapel. they played mozart, pachelbel, bach, schubert, and of course vivaldi’s four seasons. so many memories and emotions. unforgettable.

finally, i made a deliberate decision to do something stupid – had dinner at a tourist trap in the city’s old town because it was so lit up and cozy. a simple burger with blah fries cost me more than any other meal i’ve had on this trip. a lot in czech korunas but only 20 in USD:)

food stories

so i enjoyed the berlin tour yesterday but was pretty dead after 3 hours. it began to rain and i took refuge in the nearest restaurant – mama trattoria near the brandenburg gate. bad idea. the food was lame (how do u mess up salmon and pasta?) and the only thing going was the lemonade – with orange, ginger and lavender flavors. i got home and fell asleep. jet lag kicked in. when i woke up it was late. was feeling lazy but forced myself to layer-up (it’s incredibly cold here, way more than on long island and i didn’t pack for it) and went in search of food. found ‘hung anh vietnamese & japanese’ further down chausseestraße and wow, it was worth it. vietnamese food is perhaps the most flavorful food in the universe. the mango salad with fresh mint, cucumbers and peanuts was sweet and crunchy but also surprisingly spicy. the crispy wontons had ground chicken and shrimp in them and came with a wonderful sauce. the fried bananas rolled in honey ended the night with a flourish. oh, and the lemonade with lychees, raspberries and lingonberries was out of this world! this morning i headed back to my favorite turkish place (la femme more than breakfast) and had an omelet cooked well (the way i like it) with sliced tomatoes and cheese inside. it came with some simit, as usual (a circular bread encrusted with sesame seeds). also tried their pistachio chocolate ‘bomb’ (a bit dry). after that, a 4-hour train ride from berlin to praha and then another couple of hours struggling in the rain to get to this apt. the key was stowed away in a lockbox, inside a bank, in a separate location, which neither my uber driver nor other helpful folx could figure out. anyway, late dinner at kolkovna olympia. ordered a czech specialty (roast duck with bread and potato dumplings and red and white sauerkraut). the duck was good but what i needed was some comfort food at that point in my life, so i got some yummy crème brûlée for dessert and felt at home 🙂

some berlin history

1) the humboldt forum was just completed last year. it’s a replica of the berliner schloss, the royal palace, built by the hohenzollern dynasty in 1443. the schloss was badly damaged by allied bombing in WWII and demolished in 1950 by the government of communist east germany. it was replaced by the palast der republik, the former east german parliament. but after german reunification (and to the outrage of many east germans), the parliament building was torn down to build the present forum. some see this decision as an attempt to erase germany’s turbulent 20th c history. the forum cost $800 million. it was burdened by construction problems and also by accusations from academics and activists that it hasn’t done enough to determine the provenance of its art objects (housed in museums) that were acquired during the colonial era and should be returned.

2) the altes museum, part of berlin’s museum island, designed by karl friedrich schinkel, a prussian architect whose work is ubiquitous in the city. he also designed schlossbrücke, the bridge to museum island. apparently, hitler liked to give impassioned speeches at the entrance of altes museum.

3) humbolt university, berlin’s oldest university, founded in 1810. marx and engels studied here. 29 nobel prize winners. it was also here that 20,000 books were burned by the nazis in 1933. a plaque with a quote from an 1820 text by heinrich heine: “that was only a prelude; where they burn books, they eventually burn people.”

4) the oldest opera house in berlin, the staatsoper unter den linden.