ashwaq and i became friends in 2017 when i had a chance to invite her and others over for dinner at our house in pittsford. a young teacher from gaza, she was visiting the US thanks to a state department program. she radiated warmth and optimism. there was an immediate connection. we stayed in touch on facebook since that day.
in 2021, she participated in the warp & weft project and contributed a story in arabic about the unique problems of managing a pandemic in gaza, a densely populated concentration camp, cut off from the rest of the world. later ashwaq was kind enough to join us for a zoom meeting, where many warp & weft writers gathered, even though it was the middle of the night in palestine, that too during the month of ramadan. there had been israeli air strikes on gaza right before then. ashwaq told us patiently how she and her family had managed to survive, yet again. always gentle and gracious, my dear ashwaq.
i kept checking in on her after oct 7th. she would respond whenever she was able to get online. she was still ok. trying to leave gaza and move to canada where she has family. but the canadian government kept delaying her application. when she was finally allowed to evacuate, israel destroyed the rafah border. she was trapped along with millions of others. i kept checking in, feeling like a useless robot who offers the same empty words of concern and solidarity. like a dull broken record. do prayers actually work? do they? i don’t know.
i had not heard from ashwaq for a while. yesterday i saw the picture of a beautiful young man looking in the distance. he had been martyred. ashwaq and her family were tagged. i couldn’t breathe. my friend’s son, a vibrant young man, full of smiles, full of life, full of hopes and possibilities. gone. i saw a video of my friend praying over his body. he was wrapped in a white shroud with blood stains on it. oh god, i too have children. what horrors are these? what incomprehensible horrors. what incomprehensible pain. why are some humans permitted to act like apophis and deploy limitless hatred and savagery? what have they done? such unspeakable harm and irreversible injury. such final death. we ask for justice, god. nothing less than justice. may such evil be extinguished. ended.
may justice prevail. for my friend and millions of others. may justice shake the world to stillness and wash over us like rain.
inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un.
