finished reading ‘south of the border, west of the sun’ last night, my second book by haruki murakami. i’ve also read ‘norwegian wood’ which my daughter and i agreed was uncomfortably cringy on account of the graphic, borderline pushy sex the male narrator has with women who are mentally and emotionally fragile, depressed or broken. it reads like abuse.
‘south of the border’ follows the same pattern in that the female characters are poorly drawn. they are tragic victims of hormone-driven male misadventures and blend inelegantly into background noise, or they’re mysterious sex goddesses dedicated to male pleasure in its oddest configurations (they disappear soon after the male narrator has climaxed), or they are the good girlfriends and wives who endure unimaginable pain and humiliation but remain devoted to whatever relationship the male narrator can manage.
according to katarina kio, murakami’s work is ‘incredibly gendered’:
‘The perniciousness of… women as “mediums” becomes evident in Murakami’s novels. Women in his work are often constructed as solely vessels for the self-actualisation of men. One-dimensional female characters orbit around existentially challenged male leads, experiencing relatively little character development of their own.’
murakami is not alone. sex, its depiction and language, and the power dynamics it inscribes are equally unsettling in other universally admired writers such as gabriel garcia marquez, v. s. naipaul, philip roth and michel houellebecq.
they make me feel like i’ve stepped into an outdated, highly misogynistic male fantasy. it’s alienating and unpleasant. makes me realize how grateful i am for writers like elena ferrante whose work i devoured as soon as it became known to the english-speaking world. it was like stepping into another dimension. a place were women were central and in focus, where their thoughts, desires and relationships could begin to be articulated and made real, where they were flesh and blood rather than hollow specters subservient to the quirks of male psychology and anatomy.
to women writers and an alternative literary canon.
#harukimurakami #southoftheborder #elenaferrante #alternativeliterature #womenwriters
Month: January 2022
after the snowstorm
at frank melville memorial park with ammi, to check out the aftereffects of the snowstorm. the sun is shining with abandon today and the sky this glorious, uninterrupted, intense blue. no filter. birds are making merry and lending a melodious dimension to sun and sky. life is beautiful.
#frankmelvillememorialpark #frankmelvillepark #bombogenesis #snowstorm #sunandsky #bluestsky #sunshine #snowphotography #snowinstagram

rochester visit coming up soon
rochester fam! i will be in town, in snowy rochester, feb 11-14. going to art exhibitions evening of feb 4 but pls let me know if u wanna meet earlier that day or on the 5th. coming back on the 6th. i know covid is insane right now, but thought i’d ask anyway. maybe a cup of coffee or a walk?
#comingbackhome #rochesterny #artexhibitions #connectingwithfriends
chai and methai at the beach
this evening we made some chai and got some methai from bengali sweets, in hicksville, and then went and watched the sunset at west meadow beach, right next to our house. a delicious mix of cold wind, hot tea, and radiant sky and water. sister, ammi, abbu, and the husband – what could be better?
#chaiislove #methai #bengalisweets #hicksville #sunsets #sunsetsofinstagram #sunsetphotography #sunsetlover #coldwind #hotchai #sweetmethai #westmeadowbeach #setauket #setauketny #familyiseverything

my sister’s here
happy birthday saba
happy birthday to one of my closest friends in college. saba could always be counted on to do the right thing, right by her family and friends. everything done seamlessly and with grace. she and her family were central to my years at IBA and later when i worked in karachi. they anchored me. i have learned so much from them. happy birthday dear saba. u are one of a kind <3

hostage situation at a synagogue
so relieved that the hostage situation at the colleyville synagogue ended without any hostages being hurt. the captor was killed, not sure how, but the hostages escaped or were let go and are safe. thank god.
bringing violence and terror into a house of worship is a special kind of horror, whether in texas, pittsburgh, christchurch, quebec city, charleston or birmingham, whether within the purview of what we mourn and condemn officially or further away in the darkest recesses of empire and settler colonialism (remember the house to house killings in fallujah including shootings inside a mosque during the US siege, or more recently, the brutal raid on al-aqsa mosque).
a special kind of horror.
don’t know if we will ever learn the truth about the texas hostage-taker (msm will agitate, jumble together and churn out its own political fantasies), but i wish he hadn’t dragged aafia siddiqui into his delusions.
aafia siddiqui is living her own horror, the kind where one is reduced to sub-human chaff, a by-product of the war on terror’s systems of annihilation – bleeding, screaming, squashed waste stowed away in guantanamo or miscellaneous black sites and prisons. she was disappeared in 2003, near islamabad, along with her 3 children (the youngest was 6 months old at the time and is still missing, presumed dead). she has been detained, tortured, kept in solitary confinement for almost 20 years. it’s beyond comprehension, perhaps beyond human empathy or compassion. a lot of what was ‘churned out’ to justify her destruction, reads like lurid accusations of witchcraft back in the 1600s. her family has nothing to do with what happened. her brutalization started a long time ago. her nightmare needs to end.
Kinds of love
From John Steinbeck’s letter to his eldest son Thom, November 1958:
There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.
Photo: My love, Montauk, August 2021
#johnsteinbeck #quotes #love #kindsoflove #kindness #respect #consideration #strength #wisdom #mylove #montauk

west meadown beach when it’s cold
went with the husband on his run. don’t run but love walking. took pictures and enjoyed the mix of glacial wind and bright sunshine. met kevin who comes often on his bike and told me about the robins and the coming rain storm, on sunday. love west meadow beach <3
#westmeadowbeach #setauket #eastsetauket #windandsun #glacialwinds #brightsunshine #runningandwalking #naturechangesyou

ten year challenge
Flaubert’s Parrot by Julian Barnes
Is the writer much more than a sophisticated parrot?
—Flaubert’s Parrot by Julian Barnes, also just read his excellent ‘The Sense of an Ending’
#flaubertsparrot #julianbarnes #thesenseofanending #bookstagram
my review: la peste
recently i finished reading ‘the plague’ by albert camus, a meticulously crafted, philosophical novel, written with scientific clarity as well as breathtaking lyricism.
one of my favorite conversations, towards the end of the book, is between tarrou and the book’s protagonist, dr rieux. it’s a masterpiece.
first the convo itself. it’s a personal side of tarrou we’ve never seen before. there is an unsentimental, uncomplicated common decency/sense of justice to him that i find beautiful. here’s tarrou:
..So that is why I resolved to have no truck with anything which, directly or indirectly, for good reasons or for bad, brings death to anyone or justifies others’ putting him to death.
…The good man, the man who infects hardly anyone, is the man who has the fewest lapses of attention. And it needs tremendous will-power, a never ending tension of the mind, to avoid such lapses.
…I’d come to realize that all our troubles spring from our failure to use plain, clean-cut language. So I resolved always to speak, and to act, quite clearly, as this was the only way of setting myself on the right track.
…After a short silence the doctor raised himself a little in his chair and asked if Tarrou had an idea of the path to follow for attaining peace. “Yes,” he replied. “The path of sympathy.”
then rieux says:
…I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don’t really appeal to me, I imagine. What interests me is being a man.
a brilliant exchange after which they go for a swim, to get away from the pestilence and its ravages, and camus describes the vast, velvety, moonlit expanse of the sea heaving gently.
a must read.
tea with uncle mussawir
yesterday we had high tea (beautifully done by ghanima) with uncle mussawir and his family. we were together in belgium, many years ago. as a child, i remember uncle mussawir well – tall, lean, debonair, always generous and kind. such a treat that his family is now based on long island. from brussels to new york, it’s a small world filled with some lovely people <3

rest in power sidney poitier
one of the most defining, unforgettable, stunning moments in cinema. and history. sidney poitier. a life of firsts. one of the most beautiful and elegant actors to grace the screen. proud. masterful. charming. electric. with a spine of steel. a giant. no one can ever fill his shoes. a staggering loss. may he rest in power.
#sidneypoitier #cinema #history #definingmoments #giantofcinema #changedcinema #icon #sidneypoitierfilm #sidneypoitiermovies #hugeloss #thereisnoonelikehim




