the first and most dramatic benefit of adversity is that it opens our eyes. despair can be constructive because it forces us, at long last, to look unflinchingly in a mirror of truth. when we hit bottom with a psychological thud, we have no place left to go. we have no option but to confront reality without distortion and to evaluate it. in an instant, we r able to glimpse beyond our illusions and relinquish our neurotic poses. this is the time to let go of old, failed, and probably inappropriate hopes; of imagined, frustrating loves; of dependencies that surreptitiously infantilize us; of self-deceptions that shore up our ego while masking truths about who we r. hitting the bottom in despair produces what educators call a “teachable moment.”
from consolation: the spiritual journey beyond grief by maurice lamm